JANUARY ON THE MARSH

It was early January and it was grey, cold and wet.
Extremely wet.
Rain ricocheting off the kerb and into your already sodden boots wet.
“Why on earth did I venture out in this muck when I could have stayed home and watched ‘A Place in the Sun’?” wet.
“I need a new cagoule and a waterproof bag” wet.

And don’t get me started on the cold.
It was very cold.
Knuckles rattling round pockets like Maltesers being shook in the box cold.
“I could be on the sofa with my hot water bottle and duvet” cold.
“Should have brought along some soup” cold.

And we may as well discuss the grey.
Murky, dirty, shirty grey.
Doom and gloom, CHRISTMAS IS OVER, back-to-reality, grey.
“I could be in a restaurant having a colourful lunch” grey.
“Definitely didn’t need my sunnies today!” grey

And I wondered why I was out doing this lengthy trudge. Through puddles, past roadkill, and wading through sludge.
But I didn’t need to wonder for long…

Seasalter Beach, Graveney Marshes & Faversham Creek

Song of the Day: Moondog – Do Your Thing

How on earth has it taken me until now to come across Moondog? A blind composer and poet who was known for standing silently on New York pavements for hours at a time in the 1950’s and 60’s, and died in Germany in 1999.
This song was written in 1978, but is still completely on point.

#liveyourbestlife

I’m not against social media, I think it has many supportive values and can be very fun, but I do think that it needs a few boundaries to keep its usage healthy, especially among the young and impressionable.

I think one of the biggest disservices anybody can do to themselves is fixate on comparison to others, or worry too much about what people think. We’ve probably all done it, but it’s damaging – effectively a form of draining self-harm in which social media is often the weapon presented as Exhibit A. It’s very easy to look at peoples’ best bits and think your life is lacking, but don’t. Just do your own thing, put that energy towards gaining approval from yourself instead, then fly propelled by a sense of freedom and relief that only comes once you’ve unchained yourself from societal expectations.

This is a little poem I wrote about it whilst eating a biscuit:

Sometimes all I want to do is eat a Custard Cream,

and watch a documentary,

whether that’s with company, or even when more solitary.

And other times all I want to do is gaze at the land,

feel the breeze in my hair, and hear a new band.

Sometimes I lull in the depths of a food-themed daydream.

and read a big fat book,

or Google home furniture and take a lengthy look.

And other times it might be instant noodles for lunch,

not #smashedavocado or a bright #boozybrunch.

There’ll be times when I love to head out to dance,

but most nights I take much more relaxed a stance,

no #Prosecco to drink, no #Bellini to clink,

“What on earth will your peers think?!”

The hashtags may suggest that my life isn’t fun,

or that my cooking looks shite and I weigh a tonne,

but as you get older you learn how to see,

that the best way to live is #hashtag free.

Your media doesn’t define the person you are,

it’s about how you feel, not that lavish bar.

Too many people, and most of them young,

determined to showcase all that they’ve done,

but learn to obsess, less, about the way you dress,

and focus instead on what makes you feel best.

It’s perfectly okay to be a bit “boring”,

because the simplest things are the most rewarding

(Or at least they should be)

#liveyourbestlife – but by being you, being true, being free.


Song of the Day: Plone – Puzzlewood

I’m not sure what genre you might call this, or whether that even matters, but this is a nice, chirpy bit of electronica from Birmingham, UK, recommended to me by Spotify. Spot-on, Spotify.

Rainbow

I think every now and then, each of us really needs to see a rainbow.

A beautiful reminder of what can happen when the sunshine meets the rain.

But also of how the things which fill us with awe can quickly fade away.

So dance.

Dance your hardest beneath this amazing arc of light;

And when you gaze upon it in the sky,

it will tell you exactly why:

“You had the sun, then you had the rain.

After the pleasure, then came the pain.

But after the pain, came the brightness again


A brightness more radiant than before”

So dance.

Dance your hardest when the time is right.

Within the glow of this awesome, impermanent sight.

Where each shade will tell you a million tales.

Enjoy the show,

Enjoy the rainbow.

Song of the Day: Bright Eyes – A Perfect Sonnet / Bowl of Oranges

Many 30-somethings today, dotted around the globe, will tell you that the Omaha, Nebraska indie-rock scene of the early ’00’s had some sort of effect upon their adolescence and / or early adulthood. Bright Eyes were a band who typified this scene. Each tune so full of raw emotion and energy, yet so unheard of at a time when the only real access to new music came in the form of whatever happened to be playing in whatever record shop you happened to be standing in at whatever time, or what somebody recommended to you.
In 2003, somebody off some internet forum somewhere, accessed by a dial-up, had told a 17 year old me to check out their song “A Perfect Sonnet” on the back of the fact I liked Weezer, and it was a tune that did – and still does, 17 years later – send an absolute chill down my spine. The lyrics to this song may not be the happiest yet you just cannot help but feel in awe of how the lead, Conor Oberst, manages to channel raw feeling into three and a half minutes of secret layers of song.
Having said that, the Bright Eyes tune originally picked for this month’s “Song of the Day” was a slightly brighter sounding offering call “Bowl of Oranges”, but, much like the spirit of the rainbow, I would suggest that people listen to both. So am recommending two songs, to be listened to one after the other 🙂

A Perfect Sonnet:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZICv6xbFBw4

Bowl of Oranges:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XUym7n7fJTQ

Jots from a Journey

A few weeks ago I was sat on a motionless train for a considerable period of time, and felt an urge to do a little experiment to distract me from persistently looking at my watch and cursing the delays.  I began to think about the literary term known as the ‘stream of consciousness’ (which in other words is when the writer scribes a narrative that reflects more accurately the spontaneity and multi-layered form of the human mind).  It’s about writing that hasn’t been premeditated, or agonisingly edited in order to reach a state of perceived perfection… writing which is – in other words – a true expression of a thought process.

The following is what ended up on the page when using this methodology, and I’m not entirely sure what it means but I quite like it; and in the absence of having completed a proper blog entry for this month, I thought I’d share this instead.


“I like it when I see the piano keys bursting from behind your eyes;

A tune which only you can play.
…A tune that forms the soundtrack to those inner-most thoughts
(The ones that dance alongside the movement of this vehicle)

There is something so profoundly special about this piece;
Something that makes each time you hear it, feel like the first
… The amber lights blink along in rhythm
(And it feels like we all signed up to this dance class, together)

For then, for now, for tomorrow;
We move together underneath this same orange glow
… Sensitive to everything, familiar to nothing
(And nothing before or beyond this moment matters)

Here we are.”

Song of the Day: Punchline – Simulation

Pennsylvanian indie-poppers are back with a new album and this makes me very happy…

I’m Still Waiting…

This is a poem I have written for a dear friend who we suddenly lost last week.  I don’t normally write poems, as you’ll probably be able to tell, nor would I normally use this site to write about such personal things, but there’s something quite therapeutic about putting words into verse as a reflection of innermost feelings.

I’m sure that anyone else who has been bereaved would be able to relate to some of the sentiments here.

I’m Still Waiting…

When I first heard the news, I was shocked and confused.
How could this happen to a girl so well loved, such as you?
I’m still waiting to be told that none of it’s true.

The memories we share are full of smiles and laughter,
those drunken nights out and the food-fests after…
I’m still waiting to hear what you’ve picked as a starter.

You always knew what made good conversation,
Excitedly you would speak, with much animation…
I’m still waiting to meet you at Lancaster station.

I keep reading old messages you’d sent to my phone,
And looking through the many photographs that I own…
I’m still waiting to tell you, “You’re not alone”

I can only be glad you played a part in my life,
my friend, my flatmate, and my ‘Facebook Wife’…
I’m still waiting for you to comment on my butter knife!

I’ve thought about you so much in this past week,
As some semblance of understanding I strenuously seek…
I’m still waiting for your call and our chance to speak

But now my head feels empty, and my heart feels hollow.
Attempts to smile rebuffed each time by sorrow…
I know that you will still not be here tomorrow.

And that I will always miss you.

Fly High, Beautiful

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Finding Fluorescent Grey

About the liberation that comes from letting ourselves just be ourselves, seeing beyond the black and white ‘facts’ before us, and opening our minds to the unknown ideas and opportunities within the so-called ‘grey areas’.

Finding Fluorescent Grey

Unleash and Expand. 
Snip away those binding bands.
Poke your toes out through your socks 
and tear the labels off the box. 
See those thoughts within your mind,
and smudge away the bold outlines.

Let go,
Flow.

Search and discover.
Burn your map and draw another! 
Dare to loosen up your belt, 
and feel your heart as it slowly melts, 
drip-dripping down to fill new spaces; 
new feelings now, in different places.  

Question, 
Learn. 

Reach out and unlock, 
ignore the frown of a ticking clock. 
Clench the opportunities in your hands;
a brand new skill, or distant lands.
Or the other thing you’ve yet to find,
adventures ahead of a mystery kind.

Action,
Go.

Time to find the best, within the mess,
and turn fluorescent grey.

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Song of the Day:  Everybody Else – In Memoriam

Everybody Else make the kind of fresh, Californian pop-rock that can elevate one up away from the ground and into the tip a tornado of sugarsweet excitement within the space of a few minutes.

“Moments ago, it seems to me, that we were just kids in memories”

Sacrifice

Last night I had a vivid dream.  It was about 2 years from now, and it was my wedding day.
I’d been made to look beautiful, and all my loved ones – friends and family, were there to enjoy my special day.
And he was there.
And he looked perfect.
But when I looked into his eyes,
And stared at the reflection,
I didn’t see the rest of my life…
I didn’t see me anywhere.
I just saw, ‘Somebody’s wife’ 


To follow our head, or to follow our heart?

The Big Red Rollercoaster

The big red rollercoaster.
An eyesore on the horizon,
With it’s twists and turns,
Euphoria; and concerns.

A ride nobody ever paid for,
Or waited for;
Compelled upon it’s emotional surge,
Where delight and despair merge,
So intensely,
Exposing what is known to me,
As the irony of matter:

Never shed a tear over anything I didn’t care about.
Never cared about anything I didn’t love.
And those raindrops that fall on sunny days,
Are sometimes the heaviest raindrops of all,
As they drip onto naked, wilted petals,
That never loved anything which was immortal.

Fingers clutch
much
tighter.

————————————————————————————————————————————————————-

Song of the Day:  Ingrid Michaelson – Lady in Spain

Staten Island, NY songstress Ingrid Michaelson has already had much of her music featured in US programmes, but since I don’t watch much t.v it took good old Last.Fm to introduce me to her.  This song came up on an afternoon which I have spent frustratingly trawling the internet for jobs to apply to, having to re-assess my plans and location, consequently wanting to slam my head on the desk in the hopes that it might magically knock everything into place.  Just when I needed some motivation, along came Ingrid Michaelson with this sweet little tear-jerker of a song, apparently about a young girl who fears being nothing until one night a fairy flies into her bedroom and tells her that she can anything she sees, anything she wants to be, anything her heart tells her to do.  Well, it may be a fictional fairy in a song, but thanks Ingrid, your nice little tune is giving me some inspiration and making that desk look far less appealing 🙂

“I am a lady from Mars, and I can unscrew the stars”

Technicolour Tears

“Why the tears, little one?”

 

 Red tears of romance, soft like a stream, a bed so deep, a heart so taken,

Orange tears of passion, flaring like a flame, driving towards the dream,

Yellow tears of joy; an appreciation, a relief, a gratitude for the gift,

Green tears of envy, a want that remains wanted; a sight, but not a touch,

Blue tears of sorrow, a loss that leaves you wandering and hollow,

Indigo tears of intrigue, the mystery of the stars ‘neath the moonlit skies,

Violet tears of mirth, a joke so funny, a laughter worth more than money,

…It’s not really clear.  It’s a technicolour tear.