Last night I had a vivid dream.  It was about 2 years from now, and it was my wedding day.
I’d been made to look beautiful, and all my loved ones – friends and family, were there to enjoy my special day.
And he was there.
And he looked perfect.
But when I looked into his eyes,
And stared at the reflection,
I didn’t see the rest of my life…
I didn’t see me anywhere.
I just saw, ‘Somebody’s wife’ 

To follow our head, or to follow our heart?

The Big Red Rollercoaster

The big red rollercoaster.
An eyesore on the horizon,
With it’s twists and turns,
Euphoria; and concerns.

A ride nobody ever paid for,
Or waited for;
Compelled upon it’s emotional surge,
Where delight and despair merge,
So intensely,
Exposing what is known to me,
As the irony of matter:

Never shed a tear over anything I didn’t care about.
Never cared about anything I didn’t love.
And those raindrops that fall on sunny days,
Are sometimes the heaviest raindrops of all,
As they drip onto naked, wilted petals,
That never loved anything which was immortal.

Fingers clutch


Song of the Day:  Ingrid Michaelson – Lady in Spain

Staten Island, NY songstress Ingrid Michaelson has already had much of her music featured in US programmes, but since I don’t watch much t.v it took good old Last.Fm to introduce me to her.  This song came up on an afternoon which I have spent frustratingly trawling the internet for jobs to apply to, having to re-assess my plans and location, consequently wanting to slam my head on the desk in the hopes that it might magically knock everything into place.  Just when I needed some motivation, along came Ingrid Michaelson with this sweet little tear-jerker of a song, apparently about a young girl who fears being nothing until one night a fairy flies into her bedroom and tells her that she can anything she sees, anything she wants to be, anything her heart tells her to do.  Well, it may be a fictional fairy in a song, but thanks Ingrid, your nice little tune is giving me some inspiration and making that desk look far less appealing 🙂

“I am a lady from Mars, and I can unscrew the stars”

A Very Musical Note

Just lately I’ve found myself having more musically-induced  epiphanies than normal.  What do I mean by that?  I’m referring to a love of song, and the potential in which we can feel differently about things as soon as there is a little music involved.

Have you ever been one of those people that procrastinates behind the computer or television for hours on end, avoiding your list of important things to do because you’re lacking in energy?  Perhaps you’ve just woken up, or maybe you’ve just got in from a busy day.  You’re tired, and you allow yourself to become lost in the world of sitcoms, reality t.v or website after website.  I find that in moments like this there is always one thing that can instantly shift me back into life, and that is music.

No matter what the weather, what the mood, what the activity… there will always be a song out there that can get you really stuck in to whatever it is you’re doing, and allow you to feel whatever you’re meant to be feeling.  On my Spotify I have around a thousand songs all grouped into separate playlists, to be listened to at separate times.  When I’m feeling sad, I’ll revel in the company of the soft, heartbreaking ballads in my ‘Sad Songs‘ playlist.  When I’m feeling good, or in need of some inspiration, I’ll listen to my ‘Uplifting Songs’.  When I fancy some exercise, I’ll put on ‘Workout Music’.  ‘Old Favourites’ allows me to fondly reminisce the past, as do ‘Travelling Favourites‘; and if I just want to dance around to some good music I’ll put on my General Stuff playlist.  To me, music is an outlet for emotion and by listening to it, we are expressing ourselves in subtle yet effective manner.

Another thing I love about music, is the way in which it can so beautifully juxtapose whatever it is we’re looking at or thinking about, and add another dimension to it somewhat.

Yesterday, I was walking around the area below during twilight.  It was looking beautiful and mysterious and so I took some photos to capture the images forever.  In the meantime my MP3 player shuffled onto a song that I haven’t listened to in years.  The lyrics and emotion of the piece seemed to make what I was looking at come to life even more.  Imagination set in and it made for a wonderful moment; something that I would refer to as a ‘musical epiphany’.

  “Have you ever seen a sound?
Have you listened to an image?
Have you ever touched a thought?
Have you ever tasted nothing?
Have you ever told a lie that was true more than truth?
Because truth it had lied all its life
When it spoke to you.  

And what did it say, it is that, it is this, this goes here, here is there, 
It is not, yes it is 
It was dulling your senses, your eyes they were bound.
Have you ever, my friends, been looking around?”  ~ ‘Oh, Miserere’, The Cat Empire

I just love and admire how a good piece of music can add to our situations and surroundings in such an incredible way.  Each time, it multiplies my appreciation of music and makes my MP3 player seem not a luxury item, but a necessity!  I cannot walk alone, nor ride in a vehicle, without the company of the music to add texture and dimension to what’s around us.  The journeys during which my headphones have broken or the battery has run out have seemed like something akin to torture.   Long, arduous torture with nothing but the sound of an engine to enjoy.

I have a tattoo of three musical notes on my lower waist (my 2-year old nephew likes to refer to it as “the drawing on your big bum”).  It was my first one and as such I wanted it to have a special meaning.  I opted for the notes because it represented the music which I so love and enjoy, and the guidance that it has often provided me with over the years.  The way I see it, music is a direct child of passion, and in any expression of genuine passion there is the potential to find a gem of inspiration, especially within the lyrics.

I think the world would be a much duller place without the existence of such a vibrant art form.

So this leads nicely onto the Song of the Day and for today’s entry I’m choosing: 

Animal Collective – Summertime Clothes:

As somebody who frequently bemoans the lack of originality in today’s chart music, and who recently posted an article which described the importance of not judging things too prematurely, I feel somewhat guilty that until now I have never really given Baltimore’s Animal Collective  as attentive an ear as I should have done.  I’ve been missing out on something magical.  They’ve been doing this for a decade.

This is certainly a band which will divide the music-loving population.  Why?  They are strange.  They are experimental.  They require a patience we don’t always have when we switch on our stereos and just want to have a singalong in our bedroom and release all those pent up emotions.

I use a personalised internet radio station.  I type in an artist I like, and it automatically selects songs by similar artists that it thinks I’ll enjoy.  Animal Collective was always one of those bands that I knew I’d probably skip the song after the first 10 seconds because all it ever seemed to sound like was just a few repetitive, fuzzy and somewhat annoying noises that sounded similar to somebody operating an industrial iron in the 1980’s.  However, one day I must have been a little pre-occupied, because I left the song running.  I was so focused on doing something else, that I wasn’t really hearing the song anyway, until all of a sudden I found myself having no choice but to listen.  The music was coming out of my computer and grabbing me by the scruff of the neck and saying, “You WILL listen to me, damnit”.

It’s just… sublime.  What I like about this song is that each time I listen to it, I hear a new part to it.  It’s full of interesting backing noises and vocals.  It makes the ‘hits’ of today’s charts seem like wallpaper music in comparison.

Its just nice to see that there are artists out there who keep it unique.

Autumnal Aims

This is the first week of the year in which it has really felt like Autumn.

The last couple of weeks of September were so abnormally hot – maybe on a par with June’s weather – and so it has only been over the past few days that temperatures have noticeably dropped and the darkness has become more apparent.  I’m writing this at 18:30 and the sky outside is already a hazy shade of ash with the moon glowing through, when just a few weeks ago it would have stayed light until 21:30.

Since schooldays, Autumn has, to me, always been about new starts.  It is when the lethargy of the Summer heat suddenly transforms  into a more fresh, vibrant energy – new ideas, new goals and new plans of action.  At school and University, this normally involved joining a new club or society for the academic year, or buying a new set of stationery or bed-linen and meeting new flatmates. Nowadays it’s not quite as marked or fun as that, but its still useful as a time to review our plans and get ourselves back into the fast-lane towards our ambitions, just as society starts waking up again from it’s Summer slumber.

So we say:  Goodbye Summer, Hello Autumn:

Goodbye Summer
Streets splattered in the reddy-orange hues of the changing leaves;

Adjusting our eyes to the brightness of the house-lamps that were redundant over the light Summer months;
The resurgence of Saturday night t.v as something to do in the colder climes; 
Coastal bus-rides in the pouring rain underneath transparent skies; 
Dusting off hot-water bottles and re-introducing them to your mattress;
Re-discovering socks, boots and that extremely annoying, yet cosy, winter-jacket with all the feathers stuffed inside that keep poking out and getting stuck to your cardigan.
Hello Autumn. 

Song of the Day:  Matt Pond P.A – Halloween

I love Matt Pond and his ever-changing backing band of merry men (and possibly some women too at some point, I don’t know) – the artist is in my opinion Pennsylvania’s consistently best produce since 1998.  I just love him.  If I could, I would even send him a Valentines Day card.  I’m not entirely sure what this song is about but all I know is that I can listen to it over and over and never get bored and unsurprisingly, given the title, it reminds me of Autumn, hence being this post’s song of the day.  This song makes me smiley inside and jumpy in the wet Autumn leaves and puddles!

“Into where the people were on a Saturday night…”