Author: sophiekemsley

Finding a home for the Past, the Present and the Future

| sophiekemsley

If you’ve ever had the impressive motivation to enter a gym, or wandered around the sports and fitness section of a department store, you’ll probably have seen one of those exercise machines upon which you place each foot on a separate pedal and swing your legs back and forth one after the other.  Their proper name is a ‘gravity strider’ or ‘airwalker’ and they provide the same fitness benefits as a brisk walk; the bonus being that you don’t need to worry about the weather.  You can even position it in front of the t.v and do it whilst you watch The Simpsons, if you really want.  Its really quite novel.

Sometimes, when I see these machines in full swing, they remind me of the motion of our minds a little bit.  Sometimes we are forward thinking in the future, other times we are backwards recalling the past, but seldom are we in the centre – the present.

Ahhh, tenses.  Everybody loves to philosophise over the tenses.  You’ve probably heard dozens of infamous sayings about how important it is to live in today rather than yesterday, or tomorrow.  Even one of the best-selling books of all time (Eckhardt Tolle’s ‘The Power of Now’) was about that very idea.  For many, it is seen as the key to being spiritually sound and happy – and that’s an idea that most people would find extremely hard to refute.  I’m not going to refute it either, though I am going to try and figure out whereabouts in the jigsaw the past and the future really belong.

It seems to me, that most of the time we are thinking about things that happened in the past, or speculating over the things that we think may happen in the future.

“I wish I could go back to…”…. “I wish I hadn’t said such and such” … “I wish I’d done that differently” … “I miss a million people and things”… “Do you remember when we…?”

Sound familiar?

Now how about:

“I can’t wait until…” … “I am going to do that!”… “One day, I’d love to…” … “We should go to…”… “I will…”

If you’re anything like me – the above phrases will be most familiar to you.  You probably have a number of different words you could fit instantly fit into the ellipses.  Its fun isn’t it?  Reminiscing the good times and speculating over the exciting times ahead.  It can also be extremely nauseating – regretting over things you may have done or said which you just can’t change, and never will be able to change, or missing things that you can never re-live that pale in comparison to whatever you’re doing now.  Looking forward can be just as nauseating – you can set out many plans and goals but you can’t be certain that you’ll ever be able to enjoy the glory from them.  A lot of time wastefully invested into thinking about something which might not even happen!

Sometime during the third year of University, we were in the middle of a Criminology lecture which was not the most interesting of all.  In fact, it was so boring, that I cannot recall the proper name of the module nor what topic we were learning about that rainy Friday afternoon in the Marcus Merriman lecture theatre, Lancaster University.  I merely remember being sat with my unkempt, spotty, studentified head face down on the desk in despair,  stomach full of Pot Noodle and Snakebite, trying in vain to battle the zzz’s.  That was until our lecturer, Professor Can’tRememberTheName, used an analogy to describe something which really stuck out in my head as describing a habit that most of us have.  The analogy was that of a boat on an open sea that was being manipulated by several different steering wheels, all trying to steer in different directions.  The result?  The boat stood still, and went nowhere.  See yourself as the boat now, sometimes living in one direction (the past), other times living in the other (the future).  The result?  Staying still, going nowhere.  Could you ever contemplate that a boat and an airwalker and even an human mindset could have so much in common?

The present is the only tense that we are ever assured of having.  Therefore, it needs to be the one which we prioritise.  Yesterday is not the present.  If today is Monday, even the soon to arrive Tuesday is not the present.  Now is the present.  Your eyes on this sentence is the present (I must say, you are using your present wisely at this moment), but now that sentence becomes the past and now this current sentence is the present.  So let’s use it.  Let’s do the things we want to do whilst we know we can.

But where does that put the past?  Where does it put the future?  You definitely need those as well.  Just ask Ebenezer Scrooge in Dickens’ ‘Christmas Carol’.  We can only ever put our lives into perspective and make the most of ourselves if we can have visions of all three.  The past is our teacher and Hindsight is that annoying fellow student in class who would start saying the answer to the question just after the teacher had started saying it, and would then pass off the answer as their own with a fraudulent grin.  The past gave us immense pleasure and intolerable pain but still we stand; now with more knowledge, appreciation and wisdom.  The past gave us all of the people we care about and all the qualifications we have.  We would be nowhere without it.  Be careful not to dismiss it.  Though there may be things we don’t like to remember, sometimes it is those things in particular which taught us the most.  Everything we ever did, taught us something, even if it was only trivial like, “don’t hold on too firmly to the escalator handlebar or you’ll spend the rest of the day with traces of hard-to-remove black rubber on your fingers”.   To dismiss any of that just because its not happening right now would make a mockery of everything you ever experienced.

Then too, the future – the one that keeps us facing forwards.  Thinking about the future is what provides us with hope and excitement.  Having a bad day?  TOMORROW WILL BE BETTER.  Though the uncertainty may also scare you, but at least you have the time to try and guide yourself in the direction you want to go in – draw out that map!  Plan your route.  But don’t use it as ‘back-up’ time to fulfil the things in life you really want to fulfil.  There is no tomorrow.  Nobody ever goes there.  Have you ever received a postcard from that golden, heavenly Land known as Tomorrow?

No.

It is today which we have.  Today is all you will ever have.  So let’s really think and understand now that infamous, wise old saying that you might find scrawled in a flowery font on the back of a menu in some kind of new-age, hippy dippy café-bar and lets put our whole heart and souls into it and really…

…Cherish Yesterday

Dream Tomorrow

Live Today…

 There’s no wanting in the present.  There’s no wishing in the present.  There’s no regretting in the present.  There’s only ever living in the present, so let’s not wait any longer to do the things we really want to and lets put the present in its rightful place at centre stage where it cannot be avoided; and the past and the future stored safely and discreetly in the wings for when we need that little bit of perspective or hope.

Song of the Day:   Girl Talk – Down for the Count

Massively under-rated away from the Americas, mash-up D.J Gregg Gillis has been making creating fresh party anthems for masses through ingeniously blending together popular songs in a way that leaves you in a state of absolute awe… Once you’ve stopped dancing, that is.


Technicolour Tears

| sophiekemsley

“Why the tears, little one?”

 

 Red tears of romance, soft like a stream, a bed so deep, a heart so taken,

Orange tears of passion, flaring like a flame, driving towards the dream,

Yellow tears of joy; an appreciation, a relief, a gratitude for the gift,

Green tears of envy, a want that remains wanted; a sight, but not a touch,

Blue tears of sorrow, a loss that leaves you wandering and hollow,

Indigo tears of intrigue, the mystery of the stars ‘neath the moonlit skies,

Violet tears of mirth, a joke so funny, a laughter worth more than money,

…It’s not really clear.  It’s a technicolour tear.



Me Vs The World?

| sophiekemsley

A few weeks ago I published a post about love.  I wrote about how, as humans, our ultimate desire is to find somebody who we can fall in love with, and share the rest of our lives with.  I stand by that sentiment, but now I’d like to focus on the alternative state of being single.  Is it really so bad to be unattached?

Essentially, being single is something we need to learn not to be afraid of.  Unless you’re lucky enough to have met “your one and only” already, then being single is a state you need to embrace, and even learn to like, as unattractive it may seem compared to the beautiful vision of unearthing your soulmate and falling in love.

It’s strange how one of the things we fear most is essentially the one thing we feel as though we have the least control over – being alone.  Nobody likes to feel alone.  That’s why we have families; that’s why we have friends.  We interact with others because we enjoy sharing stories and laughter with others.  We like having people to care for, who will care for us back.  Without this, we can feel lonely.  We each need the occasional personal space to gather our thoughts, but to be in this state for too long can lead to derealisation – we could lose ourselves in our imaginations.

And there will be days when the lack of a partner hits us harder than normal.  For me, it only takes the vision of a pair of teenagers on the street, loved up and arm and arm, to hit that sensitive spot in my tummy and react, like a metal fork touching a filling, and taunt me, “Why haven’t you found that yet, Sophie?”  “You’re getting older now, Sophie” or even just, “Stupid Sophie who nobody wants yet you’re about twice as old as those lovers”.  It can lead me to remember those visions I used to have as a young child, writing out my dreams in class, “Wen I am 25 I want to b living in a house wiv my husband, 2 chilldren and pet cat”, and then I feel as though I’ve let my infant self down.

However, my past paddles into the world of dating and relationships, which clearly all failed, have reminded me of one thing:  Love is something that we cannot force, and we should not actively look for.  Love is something so beautiful that it should come naturally.  We cannot phone up and order it, like a pizza; and much like a distant vision on the horizon, it does not make its way any closer to us just because we use a pair of binoculars (or *cough* a dating website *ashamed cough*).

We simply have to be patient, and wait, and whilst we do so, we need to find that inner peace in ourselves that says, “Hey, single? So what!” and allows us to continue having fun, and not let us feel inferior because nobody has fallen in love with us yet.  Our eventual spouses will be the ones we have decided we love enough to share the remainder of our lives with, but let’s not forget about all the years of our lives that will have preceded that.  Being single is our natural state from birth, and as humans we are an embodiment of a conscience.  Our conscience is the one person we have in our life who we know will never abandon us – similarly, it is the one person that we can never escape from.  Our conscience knows all of our secrets and all of our thoughts.  It knows much more about you than the person you marry ever will.  When you make a mistake it will be your conscience that makes you feel guilty.  When you try your hardest at something, and nobody else seems to realise, your conscience will be the one person guaranteed to give you a proverbial pat on the back and say, “I saw you trying, even if they didn’t”.  It is yourself, that listens to all of your thoughts and will never tell you to shut up, but it will also be the thing that does not need to be polite when telling you all the things that you have done wrong and what you need to change.

With this in mind – why, when we are single, do so many of us, myself included, pre-occupy ourselves with the disdain of not having found a relationship yet, when even a future partner will not be as understanding of ourselves as…. Ourselves!  A relationship with another stands for nothing if you cannot first enjoy the company of yourself.  We can obsess about finding a relationship out of fear of being alone but listen to your heart – can you hear that quiet voice?  That’s the voice that’s going to guide you, and never going to leave you.  Do you still feel alone?

I may wish for a relationship, but I cannot force it, nor would I want to.  Being single should not be viewed as a negative quality in somebody.  Rather, lets just remember the things we have, and not the things we want, and carry on living each day to the full until the time comes when love will find us.

(Disclaimer:  If still single in 10 years, may look into the laws of marrying plants)

Song of the Day:   Janet Jackson – Love Will Never Do Without You

Emily Hutchison, since you asked, this one is for you!

Enough is enough, Cheryl

| sophiekemsley

I’ve always thought Cheryl Cole was cool.  As a fat 16 year old with bad hair and bad dress sense back in 2002, I remember tuning in to ‘Popstars: The Rivals’ every Saturday night and excitedly anticipating that all-important question of who would make it into the group, and who wouldn’t.  Cheryl was one of the contestants, and she was my favourite out of all the girl contestants (my favourite male being the chisel-jawed Mikey Green, who was sadly evicted on one quite heartbreaking weekend).

16 is quite an impressionable age.  You’re aware that very soon, you’re going to be initiated into the culture of dressing up and partying that will stay a part of your adult life for at least the next ten years, if not longer.  The bridge can seem long, and the other side can seem daunting.  It is a period where people often frequent the higher levels of self-consciousness and constantly ask themselves if they’re on the right track, “Is this outfit a good look? Have I got too much make-up on? Should I use a different foundation?”.  I was no different, and found a lot of guidance through looking at these young, female celebrities on the television and seeing what they were wearing.  I remember admiring not only Cheryl’s style, but also her attitude (clearly, this was long before the pantaloon pants and the military jackets).

With this in mind, I can understand why older generations will often refer to an emotional attachment of “having grown up with” older celebrities.  Its perhaps too early to say, but being only two years my senior, Cheryl Cole is one of those celebrities who in sixty years or so, when they’re reading out her obituary on the news, might make me turn around to my grand-children and say, “Ah, Cheryl Cole… she was of my era.  I grew up with her.”  This sentiment can lead to a greater interest in the life of the particular celebrity, and a greater empathy with the milestones they reach in life.

I believe Cheryl Cole is essentially a very sweet, kind person, who has done well to alleviate herself from her troubled background and become a role-model to many young girls across the country.  However, if the news is to be believed and she is to be taking a break from showbiz, I would wholeheartedly agree that the time is right for her to disappear from our television screens and newspapers for a little while, if not longer, and focus on herself.  The strain that comes from being under the spotlight for so long has finally got to her, and I fear that if she’s kept there, like a Bengali-tiger in the media circus, it will become too much.

As celebrity lives go, Cheryl’s has seen it all, and there have been more lows than highs.  Let’s be brief.   In the beginning, it all seemed so perfect.  Girls Aloud were frequently topping the charts, and in 2006 she got married, in the most lavish of ceremonies, to the footballer Ashley Cole.  Everything was perfect until 2008, when Ashley’s affair with various women came to media attention.  The romance was shattered, though against all odds the couple reconciled, only for a repeat occurrence in 2010.  This time Cheryl, who had been gaining mass popularity as a judge on the UK X-Factor, filed for divorce.  A few months later, she caught malaria whilst on holiday in Africa and was within a whisker of death.  She survived and by Winter was back in her role as a judge on the X Factor.  In 2011, after much uncertainty, she was confirmed as a panelist in the U.S series of the show, many citing her friendship with show-owner Simon Cowell as the sole reason for this success.  This was considered a massive boon to Cheryl, and a new opportunity to finally overcome the pain caused by the failure of her marriage and make it in the United States, where she was unknown up to this point. She had only been in the States for a few weeks before it became apparent to X-Factor producers that she wasn’t going to be popular with the American public.  A new-look which consisted of purple flared trousers and an orange top was much maligned in the Atlantic press, and a perceived lack of chemistry between herself and fellow-judge Paula Abdul was considered as the writing on the wall.  Cheryl needed to be axed from the U.S X-Factor before she had even started, or the show would fail.

She returned to the UK with her tail between her legs, but support from the UK public had disintegrated.  She still had a legion of dedicated supporters, but she had also lost a significant amount.  Cheryl had made a fundamental mistake in her quest for bigger things.  Her acceptance as the role of judge on the US X-Factor had culminated in the automatic ejection from the role of judge on the UK version of the show.  This move upset, and ultimately lost her, thousands of her fans.  Don’t forget that it is these same fans who bombarded her with supportive letters after she was cheated on, twice, and who sent her get-well cards when she almost died.  This decision would have gone down better had it seemed to make more sense, but from the very first whisper that she might be offered a role in the U.S, there was always a cloud of doubt.  She was unknown in the U.S, and ran the risk of not being understood by the masses.  A businessman will propose that in accepting the American role, Cheryl was just trying to further her career and maximise her potential.  However, she did so at the risk of losing what she already had, and she did lose.

She’s not a judge on anything anymore, and her self-esteem had descended so much that she is now considering getting back with the ex-husband who broke her heart, twice.

The end result is a far cry from the young Cheryl who I used to think was a bit of a style icon.

The story is reminiscent of something Aesop would have written about.  In life, we are provided with opportunities.  We are constantly seeking to improve and grow.  Its good for us that we take these opportunities, and it is good for us that we are always seeking to improve.  However, this can only work if twinned with the ability of a bit of caution and foresight.  In Cheryl Cole’s instance, she took one step forward and five back.  She took an opportunity which she knew would be a risk, and it almost worked until it backfired horribly for her.  The bottom line is that she took on more than she could achieve and ended up losing more than she had.  I strongly hope she turns it around.  Who knows, she may use the series of misfortune as a catalyst for much bigger things, but the early signs would not suggest so, and I think it is imperative that her life should have a bit of a respite from the nation’s glare.  I hope that she recuperates, strengthens and succeeds again, and I hope that next time she knows she must keep hold of a good thing, rather than throw it away to free her hands for something better that she fails to catch, leaving her empty handed.  Good luck, Cheryl.

Meanwhile, there’s nothing more annoying than:  The television remote suddenly dying just as Kylie Minogue’s ‘Can’t Get You Out of My Head’ comes onto the t.v.  3 hours later, and I’m still very much la-la-la-la-la-la-laaaaaaaaa.

Finally:  Thank you to those of you who have so far read this Blog, and provided me with your feedback.  I haven’t given the link out to many people yet and am still very much in the early stages, but support is so welcome, particularly now, so thank  you, you’re all brilliant x

Song of the Day:  Bright Eyes – Touch

Bright Eyes are one of the most successful American indie-rock bands of recent times.  Frontman Conor Oberst, 31, has the sort of vocals that you can swallow down into your insides, and the following song is one that I feel illustrates this concept well.  Its about heartbreak, losing something you once had that used to bring so much joy, a bit like Cheryl Cole did.  This is the kind of song you listen to if you’re feeling down and just want to indulge in your tears for a few minutes, only to resume life at full speed once it finishes.

“…wishing this could last, knowing that it can’t…”

The Best Cup of Coffee

| sophiekemsley

Date:  Thursday 9th June 2011
Time:  11:30am
Location:  The old Canterbury Buttermarket

I’m sat outside Starbucks with a freshly made caramel macchiato and a notepad at my table.  Its a typical weekday morning in a square which, with its timber-framed buildings and lively  street performers, typifies the historical and cultural aspects of this city of Canterbury.
A rather effeminate American tourist on the table next to me discusses the passers by with somebody who I presume is his boyfriend.  They are laughing.  The tourist came to my aid earlier when he pointed out the chair I was about to sit on was covered in tea, and brought over a new one for me.  “Oh! Don’t sit there! That chair looks a little mankyyyyy, that’s why I didn’t sit on it.  Here, let me getcha noo one”  My heart melted like the froth on my coffee at the voluntary kindliness.
Meanwhile, a man in a trilby hat and a blue t-shirt sits beside the war memorial warbling out his remake of a Neil Diamond song on a guitar which he self-gratifyingly thumps around like a wench.
The song finishes, and the American tourist creates the sole applause and cheers before laughing and remarking to me that, “It’s almost WORSE when only one person claps”
In the background I hear the sound of a plush toy frog with inbuilt giggling sound effects emanating from Hawkins Bazaar gift shop as an excited child looks on and tries to establish where the sound is coming from.
Then there is the ice-cream seller who sits in the middle of the square, leaning against his cart, who is looking pained at the prospect of a rabble of about 20-odd French schoolchildren, shouting above one another in alien tones as they approach him.
Yet, this city is so quintessentially British.
The queue to get into the Cathedral is constant and comprises of faces from all over the globe, all of whom have come here for the same reason – to see the world heritage site up close, feel it’s warmth, and revel in it’s magic.
What I love the most is the variety of languages and voices.  Two young ladies who look like they’re into equestrian sports bustle out of Starbucks with their takeway skinny lattes, talking in upper-class tones about something or other.  Immaculately dressed, the comparison with the overweight, balding man in the tracksuit who sits nearby looking despondently at his ice-cream as his wife whispers something into his ear, is broad.
♪Why why whyyyyy Delilah♪ – I am pleased the busking musician is playing something upbeat but am less satisfied by the arrival of a third delivery lorry, obscuring my view of the Square.  Do they not know that I’m trying to write an observational piece here?!  Yet this is the hustle and bustle of this city’s life, and I love it.
A Starbucks employee is now at the table next to me, on a break, with a blood-red coloured juice drink in front of him as he taps away at his phone.  I wonder who he is messaging, or what he’s saying.  I wonder if he knows that the thing I’m scribbling about on my piece of paper right now, is him.
The musician breaks into a rendition of Let It Be next.
♪There will be an answer, let it be♪
I listen to him warble away to his guitar and feel a moment of awe which is swiftly spoilt by the lady next to me, coughing a loud, rasping cough.
Regardless, I’m still really warming to this musician.  Who knows his circumstances – his name, age or birthplace.  Who knows what brings him to this Square and who knows why he needs to make the cash from busking.  Yet, there is something inspiring about his passion and drive to just keep on singing amidst the cacophony of frog noises, school children, coughing and derogatory remarks from U.S tourists.
In fact, there is passion all around Canterbury.  The huge Cathedral behind me is symbolic of many things, mostly historical and religious, but to me, it is a testament to somebody’s dream, and the faith of many, 1100 years ago, to build something so beautiful without the aid of modern day construction methods and machinery.  Every brick, every panel, every detail of the stained glass windows… so immaculate, so perfect.  Chaucer’s pilgrims, though fictional, symbolise the millions of people who have been driven to Canterbury not by horses, planes and trains alone, but by faith and intrigue.
I begin to feel the continental breeze against my feet, sweeping in from the South-Eastern shoreline.
Two locksmiths return to their van upon completing a job.  In cockney tones, they discuss how to manoeuvre their lorry out of the square, “Should be toight, but I’ll be alroight”.
♪And so, slide away, but don’t look back in anger, I heard you say♪, the musician’s repertoire is one that knows the songs that people like – the anthemic and the timeless, and knows how to juxtapose them against the ongoing movement surrounding him.
A German teenager on a school trip has decided to stand right in front of me and munch loudly on an apple.  I sometimes wonder what these foreign children make of Canterbury.  Are they interested in the religion or culture, or, like most of us when we were teenagers, are they plotting the best way to escape teacher’s attention and sneak off somewhere for a game of pool and can of coke?
♪If I lay here, if I just lay here, will you lie with me and just forget the world♪
A group of pensioners walk together laughing, holding shopping bags containing recent purchases from local craft shops.  I wonder what the city is like through their elderly eyes, how its changed over the years and how pleased they are that it has still managed to retain some degree of it’s charismatic vintage soul throughout the decades.
But by now, my cup is nearly empty and my macchiato nearly finished.  The sun spills out from behind the clouds.  The coughing lady’s Nokia ringtone takes off and I establish that she is German, “So… ja…. und… toll…. ja”.  I love the cosmopolitan atmosphere of this place and feel happy to live here.
I begin to feel like I’m taking up a table someone else might need, so I put away my work, pack up my bags and root around in my purse to find some cash to give the musician.  For the past hour I have been surrounded by people and things who do the things they love, and love the things they do.  This is not the place to find people headlessly pursuing the things they feel they should be doing, but doing the things they want to be doing, and being damn good at it.  It was an inspiration.  It made my heart smile.  It was one of the best cups of coffee ever.

Loves.

Song of the Day: The Avett Brothers – Kick Drum Heart

Another gem discovered from Last.Fm.  An upbeat piece of contemporary pop/folk/bluegrass fresh from North Carolina.   The kind of awesome song that will put you in a great mood within minutes and re-affirm the notion that music is powerful.


Armour – A must for every wardrobe…

| sophiekemsley

Something strange happened this afternoon.

I had been out shopping in the morning, and had returned to get on with some work, when all of a sudden, I got the strangest sensation in my tummy.  Don’t worry, I’m not about to divulge the details of any unpleasant digestive problem, although it did feel slightly similar… Have you ever had it, where a ‘bad-feeling’ has just seemed to spring out of nowhere and grab you by the stomach?  Perhaps I have a sixth sense (but unlike the boy in the movie, I lack the benefit of Bruce Willis being around to help), maybe I’d just drank too much coffee in the morning, or maybe it was just…nothing at all.  Either way, it got me thinking about those “unwelcome surprises” that life can throw at us.  You know the ones I mean.  You can be merrily getting by in your life, fulfilling a daily duty or enjoying a pleasant daydream, when all of a sudden you might find out something you don’t want to know, or see something you don’t want to see, and you get that ‘bad-feeling’, and it can then ruin your whole day, without you having a say in it.

There are very few people in the world who can call themselves psychic, and have the ability to predict the future.  For those of us without a crystal ball, life is a mystery and we simply do not know what will happen next.  Things can change – they can do so in a heartbeat, or they can do so over a longer period of time, in a more stealthier fashion.  Unfortunately, we are unable to control what happens with a lot of things.  All the planning in the world cannot prevent inexplicable events.  Sometimes, the hardest thing is knowing what to do next.

But something I’ve realised… is that we can learn to be resilient to these surprises.

Resilience d0es not equate to foregone victory in a future battle, but, in keeping with the fighting analogy, it can be regarded as a ‘suit of armour’.  Resilience makes you stronger, and better equipped for facing things.

What does resilience consist of?

Resilience is a form of certainty which can counteract the ongoing threat of uncertainty by acting as a constant, permanent set of rules which you can swear to yourself that you will keep to, no matter what.  Should things go wrong, you can then depend upon this set of rules to help you deal with the matter.  The rules may vary from person to person.  I’ve decided these are mine:

No Matter What Happens:

  • I will keep following my heart.  It might not be as logical as the head, but it adheres to my dreams.
  • I will continue to stand by the people who are most important to me, relentlessly.  Unless they take a piss on me or something.
  • I will strive to find the best solution for whatever problem I face.
  • If there is no solution available, if something is already done, then I will just stand up, and look forward.

This set of rules will be there to give me guidance whenever I need them, and it is the certainty of that, that provides me with some resilience.  It won’t prevent upset, it won’t stop the unwelcome surprises from happening, but it will give me the direction I’ll need to cope with it if something goes wrong.  Do it, make your own set of rules!  Think about whats important to you, and vow to hold onto it or stick to it, whatever happens. Do with an ‘ooh!’, DOOO IT!

Meanwhile, some shorts for you…

Stupid moment of the week:  “Sorry, we’re going to have to leave, we didn’t realise how fishy it was going to be in here”    said a friend to the waitor, as she and I decided to leave a restaurant after sitting down and looking at the menu.  I guess we should have known better, it being a fish restaurant, in a seaside town famous for… seafood… and all.

Discovery-from-unintentional-eavesdropping-of-the-day:  “Vanessa went with them to the Carvery, but she couldn’t find anything that she could eat, because she is a vegetarian”,explained a lady to her companion, who were walking in front of me in at an exceptionally slow pace in town…  One wonders why Vanessa went to a carvery in the first place, if she’s a vegetarian, but alas, I will never find out.

Epiphany of the Day:  I seem to write about food an awful lot on this.  Can anyone say, ‘dinnertime’?

Loves.

Song of the Day: The Drums – Book of Stories

Bouncy indie-pop with a 1980’s feel from Brooklyn, NY.

If only footballers had guts. If only.

| sophiekemsley

All About If

If.
The most annoying word.

If, is uncertainty.
If, is circumstantial.
If, keeps you waiting.
If, is a tormentor,
It reminds you of what you “could have done”

If, is an unwelcome ultimatum.
If, is not an answer.
If, cannot be trusted.
If, is a cop-out,
You will find it neither here nor there.

If.
At least its easy to spell…
iv it wasn’t, it would be even more annoying.

Meanwhile, in the news …

Everybody’s talking about the married footballer who had an affair with a glamour model and then paid millions to have a super-injunction taken out on the matter, preventing the issue from being discussed in the media.  For once, humanity has prevailed in the form of various celebrities, MPs and thousands of Twitter users defying “the silence that money bought” and revealing his identity to the masses.  Whilst the long-lasting adulterous act was crime enough, the staunch attempts at keeping his name quiet whilst the glamour model (who herself is not without blame, but isn’t married at least) was being hung out to dry in the press and unable to defend herself, served only to exacerbate the general disapproval for his actions.

Sadly, this is not the first time a famous football star has been exposed for having an affair, and it certainly won’t be the last.  Those in one corner of the ring will claim that footballers are as entitled to as much privacy as the rest of us.  Certainly, of course they can have their privacy.  The public doesn’t care much for the colour of the towels in Frank Lampard’s bathroom, or whether Wayne Rooney prefers ketchup or brown sauce with his chips.  We’re not interested in what radio station you listen to on the way to training, or even what you and your wife talk about over breakfast.  Behind closed doors,  football players are entitled to as much privacy as they want.

To an extent.

If you are lucky enough to be paid hundreds of thousands of pounds a week, and millions of pounds a year (suffice to say, more than most people will earn in a lifetime) to do a job that you love, such as playing football, in front of thousands of supporters week in, week out, then you need to accept that you have put yourself into the public eye.  You are role-models to many aspiring football young football players, you are adored by the fans who pay good money to see you play for the club they love.  This doesn’t mean that you are not human, and won’t make mistakes just like everybody else does.  However, it does mean you are more accountable for your mistakes.  Only a foolish footballer would have an affair and believe that nobody would ever find out about it, particularly an affair that lasted so long.  When the truth started to bubble underneath the surface of the public glare, this footballer’s response was to throw money at the matter and desperately try to ‘buy’ silence.  It worked, but not for long.  A much more appropriate response would surely have been to confess to the crime, and show genuine remorse and explain to the masses, particularly the young, that what you did was wrong.  Instead, the cowardly approach was taken, the truth got out anyway, and whilst adults can condemn him for what he has done, younger generations who usually see him as such an idol, will be left asking “Why?  Is that the right way to act?”, and that – moreso than the adulterous act, is the biggest crime in all of this.

Loves.

Song of the Day:  Ed Harcourt – Fireflies Take Flight

Ed Harcourt is a criminally underrated singer-songwriter from London and this is a guaranteed tear-jerker, but in a wonderful, wonderful way.  So beautifully heart-rendering.  Maybe one of the best songs ever written.

Who wears short shorts?

| sophiekemsley

Behold the first ‘Short’ of the Blog so far.  This category of posts will be where all the ‘tidbits’ will be kept (and yes, admittedly there was a long pause between the words ‘the’ and ‘tidbits’ during which the rusty cogs of my brain tried in vain to think of a word that doesn’t sound like the name of some kind of vintage confectionary).  Anyway, I digress…

i)  The Price is (not) Right

Whilst walking along Canterbury’s main street this afternoon I found myself exchanging flirtatious glances with a chocolate eclair in a patisserie window.  Seldom does my tongue request me to consume something sweet as opposed to savoury, so I was fairly surprised at how unable I was to divert my eyes away from the pastry.  I surrendered to temptation, sat myself down, and gave my order to the waitress.  Within minutes, the chocolate eclair was served up in front of me along with a knife and fork with which to finely slice the chocolatey goodness into proper sized mouthfuls (I would have preferred to have just gobbled it up in a heavily indulgent instant, but one must try and retain some degree of elegance and poise when sat in a public place). I have to admit, the snack lived up to its promise and was an absolutely delectable treat for the tongue (though perhaps an unwelcome gift for the waistline).  Overall I was pleased with my decision to give in to my tastebuds.  That was until they presented me with the bill.  After reading the little piece of paper word for word and foolishly wondering why my female waitress had a name like Bill, I finally found the important bit, the price I had to pay:  £3.35 (and, for the sake of emphasis, THREE POUNDS THIRTY FIVE PENCE).  Since when has a product which consists purely of whipped cream and choux pastry cost so much!  I’m convinced that the weight of the snack was even less than the weight of the £5 note I used to pay for it with.  Needless to say, next time a chocolate eclair winks seductively at me from a patisserie window I will have to give it the cold shoulder.  A shame, but at least the waistline will be happy.

ii)  Did you want to say that any louder sweetheart?

So compared to our national neighbours (particularly the Germans), we’re generally regarded as being quite a conservative nation when it comes to sex.  Unless chatting with close friends, people don’t tend to discuss their bedroom life in public and me being the somewhat traditionalist girl that I am is pleased about that.  So I couldn’t help but be surprised (and also relatively amused) this afternoon whilst looking at foundation products in Boots.  Nearby were the contraception counters and I was vaguely aware of a young couple perusing over the many different varieties of condom.  Normally, I have my headphones in whilst I am shopping alone and that makes me blissfully unaware of what is going on around me.  However, in a fleeting moment of silence between songs the pleasant sound from my headphones was replaced with the sound of the female half of the couple behind me, declaring particularly loudly, that “NO, THOSE WERE THE ONES THAT MADE MY VAG REALLY ITCHY LAST TIME” as her boyfriend pointed suggestively at a particular variety of condom.  I mean, really?  You think that shortening that one word in the middle is going to make your announcement any more discreet?

I will probably never see that lady ever again but now that I know she had an adverse reaction to the Durex Pleasuremax range my life has reached a whole new realm of enlightenment, so I would like to thank her for sharing her experience with the whole shop and I’m sure that the fellow shoppers who looked similarly as stunned at such a public proclamation should wish to do the same.  Bravo to you, curly-haired brunette lady in the brown mackintosh…

iii)  Karaoke Queen

I would like to pay homage to the tiler who was carrying out repairs on our roof this morning.  A shaven-headed, tattooed man who comes across as the pinnacle of masculinity. With the radio on full blast, perhaps he didn’t think anyone could hear him singing along with Skylar Grey in ‘I’m Coming Home’ in such a high-pitched, bird-like tone, but I could.  Caught ya!

That’s all for today.

Loves.

Song of the Day: She & Him – Gonna Get Along Without You Now

We all love a bit of doo-wop and today I discovered a band who provide it.  “She & Him” are an indie-folk band from the U.S. This is a cover they did of a ‘6Os song.  I like the positivity of it.


Opposites Attract

| sophiekemsley

Good and Bad

Happy and Sad

Up and Down

Smile and Frown

Hello and Goodbye

Laugh and Cry

Don’t worry, the above isn’t meant to be a poetic masterpiece, I was just thinking about how emotions will always be about each of these things – opposites, not to mention all the feelings in between.  We have to be able to familiarise ourselves with all of them, because there are some that we won’t always be able to avoid and the more we can accept to take the rough with the smooth, the better equipped we will be to cope with the things life throws at us (often unexpectedly).

Sometimes, one side may outweigh the other, or be longer in duration.

If things are more to the left-hand side, smile about it, write about it, take a photo of it, be thankful for it, love it and enjoy it.  Then try and spread it to others.

If things are more to the right-hand side, then keep a positive flame burning inside at all times, just the smallest flame can bring some light the darkest cave.  Free yourself of fear and ill-feeling.  Keep your love for those you care about relentless, let it withstand any bad weather and wait for the next sunny day to remind you why you did so.  Keep saying the things you mean, and keep meaning the things you say.  Have belief in all your actions, that’s the only way you’ll never have regrets.

But particularly, remember the rule of opposites – we can only recognise the experience of one side of the diametric if we have experienced, too, the other.  There is no emotion that should be denied.  Embrace them all, and learn from them, they each have something to teach you.

Today’s weather seems to have combined the rule of opposites into one.  Its lovely and sunny, but also pretty windy.  Perfect weather to be catching a bus into London for a few drinks and a lot of dancing.  I love it when friends have birthdays!

Loves.

Song of the Day:

My Last.FM/Spotifying browsing yesterday guided me to this song.  I like it a lot and no doubt it will be the soundtrack of my bus-ride today.